Upon a first listen, the song “I Wanna Get Better” from Bleachers’ album Strange Desire can be seen merely as a catchy song to be blasted from car speakers while speeding down the highway. Upon further listening to the lyrics, however, you quickly realize that it is an emotional experience about someone battling depression merely moments away from killing themselves. The song, from the point of view of someone who is in a back and forth battle with themselves for their own life, details the extreme power depression can hold on a person and the devastating effects if that person can’t find an escape. The speaker’s deep sadness and longing are highlighted through the lines
While my friends were getting high and chasing girls down parkway lines
I was losing my mind ’cause the love, the love, the love, the love, the love
That I gave wasted on a nice face
In a blaze of fear I put a helmet on a helmet
Counting seconds through the night and got carried away
So now I’m standing on the overpass screaming at the cars,
Hey, I wanna get better!
The speaker is merely moments away from killing themselves in that instant, but they are stopped by a desire to get better. Bleachers use of rhythm illustrates the overwhelming panic and pain that the speaker was feeling and how quickly they were driven to the overpass. Although all else seems lost, they hold on to life because they have one person that inspires them to do so. The speaker then says, directly after the previous lines
I didn’t know I was lonely ’til I saw your face
I wanna get better, better, better, better,
I wanna get better
I didn’t know I was broken ’til i wanted to change
I wanna get better, better, better, better,
I wanna get better
This one person in the speakers life is the only one that gives them the motivation to keep going. Bleachers is able to demonstrate the importance of finding and keeping those people close to you for when it does seem impossible to keep going. Bleachers’ use of repetition serves multiple purposes in the song. Not only does it get stuck in your head, but it shows how the speaker is at their breaking point. Many people face depression and loss on a daily basis and sometimes it looks like there is no way out or reason to keep living. It is also often difficult to know, like the speaker, the extent to which you are feeling lost or that there is no way out until it is too late. It is only because of that one person in the speaker’s life that the speaker does actually want to get better and keep going.
Bleachers is able to detail the extent of the speaker’s sadness through use of specific words and phrases. the lines
Now I’m a stranger
And I miss the days of a life still permanent
Mourn the years before I got carried away
So now I’m staring at the interstate screaming at myself,
Bleachers use of the words ‘stranger’, ‘permanent’, and ‘mourn’ highlight the speaker’s desire to return to a consistent life that they once had. They feel alienated and alone and feel as though they have lost themselves, a feeling that many people share at some point in their lives. In addition, the shifts in time throughout the song serve not only to communicate the backstory of the speaker, but also to provide a link between what the speaker is thinking in the moment to the audience. The speaker and audience may share some of the same feelings and emotions and provide solace for the audience by showing them that they are not alone in their feelings.
Throughout the rest of the song the speaker goes through a back and forth on that overpass of whether or not they will keep living before, ultimately, the song resolves with the chorus of them deciding to keep living and get better. Through this song, Bleachers conveys an important and powerful message to the world. The song serves to remind people that there are people in the world who love you and care about you and even though sometimes it may look like there is no hope left they are there to support you in getting better.