Author: emmacw

Emily Dickinson and the Queer Identity

On By emmacwIn Story PowerLeave a comment

Original Poem reponse:

Riots Throughout Centuries

I am Emboldened by

Stones thrown, 

Unity enveloped in sweet twigs and twine,

Sparrows flying free from the clutches of nests

They once considered perennial. 

I am Emboldened by 

Centuries of justice found in pandemonium,

Women before me defiling what it means to be a man,

And for necklaces on chests 

Made of pearls curated by the akin gender. 

I am Emboldened by

Poetry found in corners of desk drawers

That mark the disparity between then and now;

Reluctance of discovery versus orated speeches

And for the podium below me built by Hands of the past.

I am Emboldened by 

Oceans of calmed tides,

Sparrows that build their own crests 

From the materials of old nests,

As their love for one another is simply natural order.

Reflection: 

I responded personally to Emily Dickinson’s “Her Breast Is Fit For Pearls.” poem with a creative piece of my own. I wrote this poem to represent a modern take on antiquated poems that describe the sapphic experience or queer experience of that era of time. Emily Dickinson was a closeted writer, and I covered that in my poem when talking about how her poetry was found in the corners of desk drawers while mine and other queer modern writers can or their art to the world. Though there is still prevalent struggle within the LGBTQ plus community, artists like Emily Dickinson from that era have inspired raw and real rebellion. Without her brave words and her determination to express her love for other women in poetry like she did in this one, it is unlikely that we would’ve had the courage to be as vocal in our activism. In this poem, I start by talking about a major riot for the movement, “Stonewall”, in which,  lesbian women change the history of LGBTQ plus policy and legislature. I relate this to Emily Dickinson’s writing and speak of how our wings have broken her perennial nest meaning her everlasting nest. I think she would’ve been overcome with pride herself and her preceding generations if she had seen the progress that we have today. This poem serves as a letter of things to all of the generations of LGBTQ plus activists that came before me, allowing me to be who I am today without fear to vocalize what I wish to be heard. Emily’s poem serves as a cry of hopelessness. In this poem, she speaks about how the woman she loves is unattainable due to the gender that they share. My poem is quite the opposite. It elaborates on my personal experience with my queerness and how willingly I am to accept it due to poetry like hers and activists like her. I use metaphors like the ocean to represent the legislative floor, and a calming tide to represent how progressive it has become, allowing queer citizens to feel more open in their identity. Though we have so much work that still needs to be done, I am beyond grateful for what we have due to women like Emily Dickinson. sparrows that build their own crests represent the voices that have demanded that they be heard. It represents the millions of queer activists that have come forth and made it their mission to better the world for future generations like myself. This poem is my big thank you to these amazing and dedicated people who have made everything today possible for me and my community.

Saltburn: A Shocking Satire

On By emmacwIn Comedy/Satire3 Comments

The movie Saltburn (2024), directed by Emerald Fennell became a controversial hot topic very shortly after it was released. The movie centered around a relationship between characters Oliver and Felix. The two attend the same university, and became close friends in spite of the differences they separately faced in society. Felix was much more privileged regarding class status than Oliver, and took Oliver in to his summer house when break began. This trip took a bone-chilling turn when Oliver began causing mayhem in the mansion with lies about himself as manipulation tactics, and ended up murdering each rich character by the end of the movie. The last scene of the movie featured a bare Oliver dancing around the mansion, and around the disasters he had caused.

This movie was such a controversial one due to the gruesome aspects of some of Oliver’s scenes, yet I found it hard to look away due to my confusion at Oliver’s intentions. This movie is meant to be a dramatic take on modern societal class. The 1% in society continue to thrive as they wholly control the economy, the reputation of different businesses, the entertainment industry, and even politics and law. Saltburn portrayed the total opposite of this phenomenon with irony by using Oliver as the image of the poor 1% reigning over the vastly privileged majority. Though he didn’t accomplish this feat with his class status or funds, he did so with his lies and manipulation. This portrayal shows to the public how the upper class have been using their money as their “lies”, warping people’s perception of them in order to obtain what they want.

At the end of the movie, Oliver hadn’t actually shown any particular or common intent like revenge, love, power, etc. He had simply committed these acts because he wanted to. That’s it. This shocking fact represents how though the upper class/ 1% could be monetarily stable with strong power and a ton of money, they choose to fight for an unnecessarily higher amount of status or money without much reason. It’s plainly cruel human nature to have a taste of greed only to become ravenous as follows. The purpose of this movie was simply to direct the attention of the public to those who reign power over the larger majority. As Oliver danced around the problems he had created, the 1% danced around the issues of the underprivileged by justifying their excesses with ignorance.

Queendom: A Statement On the Feminism In King Lear

On By emmacwIn King Lear1 Comment

What interested me most while reading King Lear was the role that women had, and the reactions female characters would receive from men after diverging from that standard. The beginning of the story is centered wholly around which daughter would obtain Lear’s ultimate royal power. In this situation, all male characters are at the very least content with the fact that a woman would eventually have this power. Towards the end, it becomes blatant that not a single man would be at ease with feminine authority. The irony in how male characters feel deprived reveals how polar that the hereditary power structure is to the patriarchal ideals of that era. After Goneril becomes Queen, different male characters are cited referring to her as an evil and unworldly force, contrary to how they spoke of Cornwall or Lear or any male in power, and at that time she had hardly acted on that power.

Down from the waist they are centaurs, though women (are) all above.

This quote is from Lear, her father himself (Page 203, 140-141), in which he is basically claiming that while men are simultaneously good and evil, women are just evil. Though his three daughters are the only women with major roles in the story among various different major male roles, because they hold power, they are the villains in the story. This is regardless of the fact that he was the one that allocated that power down his genetic line. Hypocrisy is consistently provided by men looking to blame misfortunes on women who have demonstrated their selfishness just as the men had.

See thyself, devil! Proper deformity (shows) not in the fiend so horrid as in a woman.

Albany (Page 181, 74-75) is speaking to Goneril on offense in this quote. Men are taking offense to a woman’s new position in power, and are assuming that her newfound reputation is a direct target at them. Goneril loses a father due to her rebellious nature and newfound power, along with creating new enemies due to a patriarchal society. Her reputation over her shift from princess to Queen completely shifts and she is considered evil by many threatened men. Readers feel that her story is tragic and pity her, but also feel a sense of Catharsis at her extreme power in a time where women are not allowed power. Though men continue to cut her down, she remains strong at the throne and perseveres continuously. Goneril is a symbol of the feminist movement, and she inspires readers who are fearful of the authority that men have over women. Goneril has greatly dared in her position, and though she is tried and her fall is pushed upon by others, she is impressive for the resilience in her selfishness.

Diving in

On By emmacwIn PoetryLeave a comment

A breakdown of the rap song “Swimming Pools (Drank)” by Kendrick Lamar in his album good kid, M.A.A.D city (2012) as a poem: 

To analyze a poem, we must consider the sharing of experience, persuasion, communication of information, and literary devices to enable these factors. A poem is a piece of literature as a piece of the writer’s soul, and if Swimming Pools (Drank) isn’t that to Lamar and his listeners, I could not tell you what a poem is. The rap goes just like the telling of a story and Lamar’s major metaphor usage starts right from the title. 

In the pre-verse, a younger Lamar remembers: 

Pour up (drank), head shot (drank)
Sit down (drank), stand up (drank)
Pass out (drank), wake up (drank)
Faded (drank), faded (drank).

The repetition used in this section alone reads as Lamar’s introduction of alcohol to his younger self, the risk and feeling in drinking working in tandem to coerce him to start this habit in an aggressive way right from his first sip. The repetition of the word “drank” places the reader in his mindset at the time, allowing them the intaking of his own experience. One shot down, the next to go, the third waiting just after that along with each consequence he has yet to face. Drank, drank, drank, more, more and even more. 

Now I done grew up ’round some people livin’ their life in bottles
Granddaddy had the golden flask
Backstroke every day in Chicago
Some people like the way it feels
Some people wanna kill their sorrows
Some people wanna fit in with the popular, that was my problem

Lamar uses the metaphor of swimming to relate the overusing of alcohol to wading liquor, and goes on in the first verse to tell a story of the hereditary alcoholism in his family. He uses repetition again to elaborate into the true danger of being drunk; the variety of appeals. From liking the buzz, to being popular, to coping, alcohol can be used by nearly everyone to temporarily solve just about any problem. Lamar’s problem in specifics was fitting in with those around him, possibly even including his aforementioned grandfather who “swam” in alcohol on the daily. His grandfather’s “golden” flask represents the shining appeal in drinking. 

I was in the dark room, loud tunes, lookin’ to make a vow soon
That I’ma get fucked up, fillin’ up my cup, I see the crowd mood
Changin’ by the minute and the record on repeat
Took a sip, then another sip, then somebody said to me

As the pre-chorus starts, so does the telling of Lamar’s personalized story. The first two lines contain positive connotations regarding being drunk at a party, inviting excitement in the listener of disappearing into a crowd and getting “fucked up”. The next two lines are the beginning to an ending, an introduction to a harsher reality that Lamar isn’t aware of at this point in the song. 

…why you babysittin’ only two or three shots?
I’ma show you how to turn it up a notch
First you get a swimming pool of liquor, then you dive in it
I wave a few bottles, then I watch ‘em all flock
All the girls wanna play Baywatch
I got a swimming pool of liquor and they dive in it
Po-pool full of liquor I’ma dive in it

The chorus is Lamar’s peak of enjoyment as he’s under the influence, using girls as a literary tactic to describe his deep appeal for something more, something bigger than parties and fun, yet he’s blinded by the sight of his counterparts at this party “diving” into liquor, and so he follows suit in his absolute need to fit in. He’s playing a part at this party becoming his grandfather and succumbing to alcoholism under the influence that his drinking will further his social life and possibly lead him to the ‘something greater’ that he searches for. His watching, his becoming of a bystander is leading him to live a life on that hereditary track he described earlier in the song. His jumping from perspective to perspective is poetic in itself as he raps as another partygoer teaching him how to fit in with his drinking. 

Okay, now open your mind up and listen me, Kendrick
I’m your conscience, if you do not hear me
Then you will be history, Kendrick
I know that you’re nauseous right now
And I’m hopin’ to lead you to victory, Kendrick
If I take another one down I’ma drown in some poison abusin’ my limit

Lamar is now rapping as his inner conscience warning him of the consequences to come if he remains on this track taking laps in this pool that is so hard to get out of. Lamar had dug too deep and the panic had just begun to set in. “Drowning in poison” represents alcohol poisoning, something he had not been wary of as he had risked his life to fit in. He had “abused his limit” and swam too deep at this point. 

The pre-verse continues once more after the chorus, placing the readers in a position of a now-experienced drinker. Drank, drank, drank, more, more and even more. 

I think that I’m feelin’ the vibe, I see the love in her eyes
I see the feelin’, the freedom is granted
As soon as the damage of vodka arrive
This how you capitalize, this is parental advice
Then apparently, I’m over-influenced by what you are doin’
I thought I was doin’ the most then someone said to me”

Lamar ignores his conscience warning him of his possible death along this track, enamored by the “love in her eyes”, her allure being the excitedness he has when drinking as his addiction had finally set in, something he views as “freedom”. His metaphorical use places the listeners in the same dreamy addictive state that he had fallen into. Later in the verse, his future self comes back into narration to warn the listeners out of this delusion with, “parental advice”, “damage of vodka arrive”, “capitalize”, “over-influenced” as he starts to feel the consequences of his addiction. But of course, as addiction is a parasite, he is dragged back into the chorus as someone coerces him to drink once more. “I thought I was doin’ the most then someone sai to me”, and he breaks his limit again, diving in. 

The chorus then repeats, as does the pre-verse, allowing the audience to receive a broader understanding of how addiction functions. 

The third verse slows the tempo down, introducing a dreamy sequence and a slowed pace:

Sherane, Sherane
(Pool full of Kendrick’s lies in it)
(W-watch ’em all flock)
Aw man, where is she takin’ me?
Where is she takin’ me? (Pool full of liquor I’ma die in it)
All I, all I, all I, all I have in life is my new appetite for failure
And I got Hunger pain that grow insane, tell me do that sound familiar?
If it do then you’re like me, making excuse that your relief
Is in the bottom of the bottle and the greenest indo leaf
As the window open I release everything that corrode inside of me
I see you joking, why you laugh? Don’t you feel bad?
I probably sleep and never ever wake up
Never ever wake up, never ever wake up
In God I trust
But just when I thought I had enough

This verse represents the final stage of Lamar’s addiction as other characters join into the song and label him as a warning or a spectacle of sorts. This leads directly into Lamar’s intoxicated state as a woman, representing alcoholism, is taking him down a strange road as he realizes that if he continues to drink, he will pass away. His panic turns to acceptance and he becomes consumed with self-doubt and regret, becoming a warning to the listeners. He marvels at how the partygoers haven’t come to terms with the extent to the risk that drinking can bring as they laugh at him throwing up, close to death. He addresses the listener as “you” to directly force accountability onto anyone who can relate, and the story seems to be coming to a closing until his addiction forces him back into the pool, “but just when I though I had enough”. 

The instrumental then ends and a dialogue forms between Lamar and a few other partygoers who had just witnessed violence and after drinking, decide to take revenge with more violence. Lamar employs this dialogue because if his warnings in the song weren’t enough, the sounds of gunshots and people grieving over loved ones has to be enough to stop a person from making his mistakes. Lamar uses repetition as his central literary device, especially when he seems as if he’s wrapping up the story just to dive right back into his swimming pool each time. The song can absolutely be defined as a poem due to Lamar’s soul shattering communication of his experiences with listeners through metaphorical usage, storytelling, and the persuasion in each of his warnings. 

Green means go

On By emmacwIn Trust (film) - Hal Hartley3 Comments

The movie “Trust” portrays a man who is dangerous, a liability due to his impulsivity and rage, and a woman who is demanding, careless, and entrapped by a narrative of what she should be. Neither are trusted by their parental figures due to their wild actions throughout the movie, and both end up finding this missing trust in one another. Two people who haven’t been trusted once in their life, not to have a baby nor to hold a stable job, find what they’ve been missing all along in each other. After they unite, their different traits teach the other one to develop what they’re lacking. Maria develops the ability to stand up for herself and to educate herself after developing a relationship with Matthew, while Matthew realizes that he can find support in himself and other people, and that love isn’t an imagined concept. The pair blooms in their love for each other as the story progresses and maturity is found, creating an ignorance in the viewer to the poor treatment of the world around the two. Watching the movie at points, it was as if nothing else mattered but this relationship. Not the tortured, reckless mother or the struggling abortion clinic nurse or the abusive father. It was Maria and Matthew, and the world just happened to burn around them. The end of the movie was a rude awakening as Maria decided to live her life as a young person on her own terms, and to fight for a brighter future. Matthew took his codependency to the grave as he pulled the pin of the grenade and said goodbye to a world that Maria presented to him, and she found herself saving him again. As she stood in front of the green stoplights while he stared at her through the cop car’s window, she had grown into her potential as a person, and did so on her own. The end of the movie was simply the beginning of a life she’d now live, unshackled by her family and ambition for love.

Dead Man Walking

On By emmacwIn Stranger2 Comments

Existentialism and hypocrisy took over towards the ending. Meursault, while in conversation with the father, screams that the father is condemned for “living like a dead man.” which I found to be extraordinarily contradictory. Meursault represents a man who is conscious of the never ending, possibly meaningless cycle of life, such as Sysiphus, and therefore he is a dead man walking. He cannot call out a man who is equally conscious of this fact but is living for the enjoyment of life due to his own adversity of creating a personalized purpose to his feet being rooted to this earth. Before his execution, he loses his cool verbally for the first and last time in the book after being faced with a man who is similarly different from himself. Hopeful, but conscious. The father is more like Sisyphus as he is conscious of the cycle that he is in, but he nevertheless creates his own purpose to live and continues on. Meursault, however, does not. He lives in this cycle with a consciousness of this cycle and unlike Sisyphus, does not create his own purpose. He continues throughout the story, even towards the ending of his life, to proclaim life pointless and causes great emotional and physical damage to other people due to his selfish ignorance that they may not be conscious of the cycle that they live in. Meursault is a man aware that his existence his pointless, but he is pathetic enough to not try and find some reason for his being.

Modern Day Sisyphus

On By emmacwIn Stranger2 Comments

Camus’ argument lacks a realistic viewpoint. It centers around a person being aware that they cannot overcome a struggle and yet continuing to do it. The author states this himself but doesn’t delve deep enough into it: modern day workers are not totally conscious of their inevitable fate. As long as a person is working, regardless of the capitalistic cycle that has already sucked them in, they usually always have some shred of hope left that keeps them going. That hope could be raising a family with funding from the cycle, investing in wants, or getting further in that specific career path to earn more. If a person doesn’t have some kind of goal to follow or a track that they’re on that isn’t totally consistent, they cannot have purpose in life. Sisyphus didn’t have that purpose as he was on a track that would not end- and he was aware of that fact. His walk down to get the rock after it rolls back isn’t one of happiness and hope. It’s of exhaustion and an awareness that leaves him with nothing. In our capitalistic society, all we have is hope. Inflation and the worsening of conditions will always be prevalent and we cannot redo the entirety of the system as opinions are too polarized and radical modernly. Therefore, if a person becomes aware of this downward slope, they will have no choice but to feel as if their actions are fruitless and will give up. Sisyphus didn’t have that choice. How could he possibly be happy with his situation?

Commentary on Drinking Coffee Elsewhere by ZZ Packer

On By emmacwIn Short Stories3 Comments

What I found that says a lot about Dina in this story is that all of her positive commentary towards Heidi was internal- and she would almost second guess her feelings for Heidi whenever it got too close to being a romantic relationship. For instance, she “fell in love” with Heidi during one of their work shifts and even mentioned that she may have even fallen in love with her from the first time that they met. This positive commentary in regard to their relationship slowly dissipates as Heidi becomes more open- and to Dina- open to being othered, or different. Since Dina was conditioned by Yale’s atmosphere to recognize this community as strange and outcast, she is adverse to accepting a part of her that’s curious about it. Her love for Heidi didn’t seem to stem from Heidi as a person, either. It was more of the idea of Heidi that drew Dina to her. Heidi represented the fact that two “different” or “othered” people coming together and forming a beautiful connection that allows both of them to feel secure in their differences. However, Dina did not feel secure in her differences, and Heidi didn’t exactly change that as Dina continuously refused help. She ended up icing Heidi out and hurting both of them in fear of what she was conditioned to avoid. (By Emma Costello-Wollwage)