Throughout the years in high school, the pressures from friends and family to work hard to get into the right college and the right career path have been the most intense. Although this pressure often molds one into a student who has self-control, grit, and organization, they can very quickly become lost in what truly makes them happy and their well-being in the present. This AP Lit class, along with the works including Beloved, The Stranger, and the collection of romantic poems, have all influenced me to take a step back, relax a little, and understand that truly living and learning is not all about percentages. They taught me that life is short and therefore I will benefit from enjoying the emotions of my senior year rather than the mistakes during COVID or the uncertainty of my career path in college.
Meursault and Sethe both encounter this ideology throughout their works as they struggle against the societies around them, which seek to limit their happiness by forcing beliefs. Meursault is often battling the institution of Christianity and the expectation of showing mourning but continues to act on his own and feel content despite those like the Chaplain and his lawyer disregarding him often. He still is a normal human being, and towards the ending chapters he lashes out against the Chaplain and reveals emotions of anger, yet remains defiant and proud that he hasn’t spent his energy on a God he deems meaningless or on emotions he thinks are unnecessary. His defiance has made me think twice about stressing before a test or a grade, as those are the meaningless things society has conditioned me to worry about instead of my actual learning or pleasures of being a senior.
Sethe is often fighting the mistakes she has made in the past throughout Beloved, and her relationships with Denver and Beloved signify the importance of keeping a balance between the past and present. The act of her killing one of her children in the act of self defiance against the institution of slavery was eye-opening and although some might have viewed it as selfish and offensive, I perceived it as heroic. And even when the community avoided her she still continued to have a life and remain strong-willed, maintaining a job and continuing to raise Denver despite being haunted both physically and mentally by the ghost of her past. It was only when she obsessed too much over her mistake that she lost all of this. I found myself relating this idea to not worrying about friendships falling out or past grade reports, and instead dedicating my energy to studying the things in the present and the relationships I had in the present.
Ending our semester by reading romantic works embodied the spirit I learned to adopt this year and tied the lessons from The Stranger and Beloved into a nice little bow. Sometimes I needed to get out of my desk, go outside, and look at the trees and clouds to be grateful for how far I’ve come and know that a single grade or test score won’t change that.